Life, life, life

Last week I was verbally harassed by a dirty old man from Nordic state. Hmm, such a precious life experience for me to grow. Although I've been in a really bad mood because of his filthy language and sexual frustration, I admit that I've really learned a good lesson: how the arrogant Westerners see Asian women. Basically, they (well not all the white men of course) divide Asian women into two categories: the ones who would like to sleep with foreigners and the ones who wouldn't.

He wished I were poor, so that I could do whatever he wants. Hmm, this is a very intriguing notion in its own way. So it seems that the Asian women are cheap service providers? I don't know what happened to him when he traveled in China and learned the language. Or maybe there were plenty of Chinese girls who'd like to hook up with blonde, blue-eyed Westerners like him, which ultimately spoiled him and corrupted his taste. Unfortunately, he obviously picked the wrong girl by accosting and harassing me. Not to mention the two master degrees pending (I guess that explains I'm intelligent?), I am also an independent, confident and able woman. I'm here in Israel to study for my interest and fight for my future, not to hook up with sexually frustrated old man who sees us Asian women through colored eyes. It's such a shame.

And I also read this article on Ha'aretz that says sexual harassment in Israel is not a trivial social problem. In the article, "No less than 35% to 40% of women have experienced sexual harassment at work, a third of whom experienced it in the last 12 months. Some 40% feel the workplace is not safe, from the perspective of harassment, according to a survey by the Ministry of Industry, Trade and Labor."

So, after a whole day's study (5 hours' Hebrew intense and 5 hours' homework, review and preview), when I finally came back home from school I felt so disgusted and tired. I texted my friend, chatting about irrelevant things and hoping to get some warmth. Later he called me and said that "Peggy, you stuck in the past. You didn't move on. I wish you to be happy. I hope you'll get a new boyfriend." Hmm, what should I say?

So many unpleasant things happened during this summer. And I am working on my own for my future. No one helps me and I need no help from others. Life is revealing the cold, realistic facet to me and I need to know and bear in mind that I need to be strong, be independent because from now on I am all on my own.

He always says I am weak. Yes I may be weak when I'm relaxed and when I'm feeling that I could depend on someone like a floating boat temporarily harboring at one tranquil port. But now with all the beautiful memories gone, Jerusalem for me is empty and tough. I questioned myself: do you still want to live here, as a single Asian woman, as a Gentile, and as a weak creature?

I haven't got the answer yet. I need time to think and only time will yield the answer.

This is the 24th summer in my life. I never felt so lonely yet paradoxically so strong and determined ever. This is a good sign, at least, nachon?